Thursday, July 2

2009 Championships Bout Frustrates GnR


The Guns N Rollers's bout for third place with the Heartless Heathers left GnR in fourth place at the end of the 2009 season.

While I've tried several times to write up a tongue-in-cheek account of the bout, each time I've ended up just feeling as frustrated as I did during the bout. So if you're a GnR fan and you want to re-live the bout and get yourself all worked up again, you're on you're own.

If you're a GnR fan, and you missed the championships, here's what you missed: Some of the best derby I've seen.

In the actual championship bout, the Breakneck Betties and the High Rollers skated fast and hard. And though the Betties won 124-109, that win was never certain, and they finished with the High Rollers grabbing at the back of their pretty red blouses.

White Flight
White Flight = Awesome.

The event of the night was HR's White Flight. No, she wasn't the "skater" of the night, she really was the event.

Midway through the second period, Flight took a shot to the head that left her laying on the ground, and it was only after a tense several minutes that she was helped to her feet and left the track carrying her skates and hanging around the paramedics' shoulders. But just a few jams later, she was lined up with Rhea DeRange again on the jammer line. And she went on tearing things up.

And White Flight is now on the current Wheels of Justice roster. Because she rocks.

So let's all see more of that (well, minus the anxious minutes with a skater on the floor).


\m/ \m/


  1. I'd like to extend and very sincere thank you to all that came out to watch us play our hearts out last saturday. I continue to be amazed by all the love and support out there for us derby girls. It will take more than a blow to the head to quell the fire and determination I have to be the best damn jammer this league has ever seen. I have miles to go on that goal but I am hopeful I will get there. Here's to a kick ass league full of beautiful, tough women!

  2. Sincere thanks for such a timely and dead-on review of the bout, Grant.

    GNR played one of the best, if not THE best, game I've ever seen them play.
    I saw plenty of big hits with ladies having their feet knocked from under them resulting in big falls. Blood and Aurora were incredible jammers AGAIN. I loved watching Smack-Ya and Wrench playing fast derby and hitting hard and giving assists. Always good to see the new skaters also.

    However, it IS unfortunate, and somewhat puzzling, that:

    (a) the Heartless Heathers had their feelings hurt after the last GNR/HH bout when there were so many COMPLAINTS about how astonishingly DULL they made the match by standing STILL on the track and skating painfully SLOW which somehow resulted in
    (b) GNR being accused of 'negativity' by the HH when all the complaints were rolling in

    (c) the league had a spread in the newspaper about their FINANCIAL TROUBLES and asked everyone to SUPPORT their local roller derby league

    d) the championship bout looked packed (thus the community heeding the pleas for attendance)BUT the audience was unfortunately treated to EXCEEDINGLY DULL DERBY when the HH resorted to standing still on the track (YES, AGAIN, EVEN AFTER THEIR FEELINGS WERE HURT FROM DOING IT THE FIRST TIME) in the second half because they realized during halftime that playing exciting roller derby defense and play(you know, the kind the audience enjoys and cheers for) was NO LONGER SOMETHING THAT WORKED FOR THEM.

    But, hey, what am I thinking? They WON and it is legal (for now; I understand the rules have been changed so this can no longer occur because it makes the game DULL) so who gives a damn if the bout was a snoozer in the eyes of the paying audience, donors, or sponsors? The HH evidently don't give a damn about the generous people that help keep the league functioning by buying tickets and merch, and sponsoring individual teams or the league or WOJ skaters. That MUST be the case, otherwise why would they have done it again?

  3. On a lighter note, this wallpaper is very vaginous.

  4. "Vaginous." Such a good word.

  5. So, Grant. When do we get to find out who's retiring and who's returning to GNR next year? Can you give us the scoop?
    I haven't heard anything about Axl but I sure hope she stays.
    Itzo EZ? Punchkin? Rollareina? I want to see them all play for years and years and years.
    Say, Grant. Tell us how we could make it easier for them to stay and play. I know derby takes up a lot of their time......