Wednesday, December 14

Welcome [back] to the Jungle, Guns N Rollers fans! It's been a while. As we gear up for the 2012 season (which officially begins January 21) let's take a moment to catch up with our favorite fishnet-wearing, butt-rocking ladies in black. A lot has happened since they ended the 2011 season by imploring us not to stop believing (to Journey's 'Don't Stop Believing'). Remember that magical moment? Yeah, I heard they made people cry. In a good way.

Season 6 Wrap-Up

Here's a quick recap of how last season ended. GNR went into the Season 6 Championships ranked #4, which pitted them against the Heartless Heathers for the #3 spot. And holy crap, you guys, GNR played amazing! Our ladies played smart, played together, and managed to put into practice all the awesome things they've been working on throughout the season (but hadn't been able to use). They didn't just hang in there, they managed to shut down the Heathers for the entire first half. Sadly though, they seemed to use up all their rock'n'roll juju in the first 30 minutes and were unable to put up the fight to beat the Heathers. But let me tell you, that first half was pure magic. Very tricky, GNR, to give us just a little taste of what you're capable of, then make us wait until next season (which is, of course, this season) to see more.

The Off-Season

So here's what usually happens around the Rose City Rollers come summertime: skaters usually take a little time off, team practices are infrequent and much less demanding, basically everyone disappears for the summer until it's time to re-emerge for pre-season training. But apparently GNR couldn't wait to start buckling down and getting serious about winning in their next season. While other teams took advantage of the "optional team practice time", GNR was back in the hangar and on a weekly schedule before you could say "sweet child of mine". They gritted their teeth and dug in with renewed determination.


On December 3 the most recent seven draftees of the Guns N Rollers joined hard-rocking forces with the rookies from the Break Neck Betties to take on the visiting Southern Oregon Rollergirls from Medford. Ironically, this "rookie bout" featured some of last season's most influential skaters like the lovely Supa Sixpack and the incomparable Untamed Shrew. Roller Eclipse, Tyger Bomb, Squid Vicious, Artemis Foulmouth, and newest draftee Va Va BOOM also took the track. And what a fun game it was! Although Sixpack was a constant in the jammer rotation, everybody got some time wearing the jammer cap. Tyger even put up some serious points amid a sea of cheering and horn-throwing. We were treated to multiple all-GNR line-ups (LOVED IT!), wherein we got to witness more of the smart pack play and strategy that our ladies in fishnets have been working on in their practices. The more I see GNR play together the more I see consistency in their awesomeness. It's not just hit-and-miss anymore. During last season's time of rebuilding I saw brief glimmers of what could be a kick-ass, amazing team. This season, GNR is ready. And it's on like Donkey Kong.

Retirements (GNR 4 Life)

Itzo EZ
Guts N Bolts
Bella Massacre

New Captains

Juvie Hall
Scald Eagle

New Drafts

Braidy Punch

In Other News...

This summer Bella Massacre married PMRD's Demolition Man. It was a gorgeous affair, and we all wore 1920s garb and looked amazing.

Scald Eagle was voted MVP of Western Regionals! She has also been nominated for Derby News Network's Rookie of the Year. Voting runs Dec 19-23. Vote!

GNR is in fundraising mode for their world tour (i.e. Season 7). Show them some love and they'll show you some in return. I'll be talking more about this later. In the meantime, check out GNR's facebook page for more info. In fact, check out their page anyway. It's just cool.

Stay tuned for more news and posts from the Jungle via your humble blogger. Rock on! \m/