Another Fundraiser on Rocktober 9th!

If you went to the last GnR fundraiser at The Tube, you know it was a whole lot of awesome, and you know that you don't want to miss the GnR fundraiser coming up on the 9th at Plan B.

On the other hand, if you missed the last GnR fundraiser at The Tube, it was a whole lot of awesome, and you won't want to miss the GnR fundraiser coming up on the 9th at Plan B.

The fundraiser at Plan B is slightly more complicated than the one at The Tube, so you may want to pay close attention here. First, this fundraiser will be at Plan B not at The Tube. Some of you may have misunderstood last time and not gone to The Tube, and you don't want to screw up like that again. So on the 9th, you must go to Plan B.

Second, this fundraiser will cost you five bucks. No, you don't get in free because you're pretty or cool or whatever. No, it won't cost you more than five bucks if you're not pretty or cool or whatever. It's five bucks. For everyone.

Third, there are bands. You don't have to pay attention to the bands, they'll play whether you pay attention or not. But they will be there. And you will pay five dollars.

If you miss this fundraiser, then you will not experience all of the great rock-tastic wonderfulment that is a GnR fundraising event.

For example, you will miss great rock-tastic wonderfulment like The Tube fundraiser's Raised Lighter Moment™ when Rocket Mean upon arriving declared to all:

Attention, lesbians! Rejoice, for I am wearing a push-up bra!

See, you do wish you hadn't missed that.

And now I am off to western regionals in Denver.

I'll be tweeting as @SnarkOnTheRocks if you care to be updated as to how the Wheels of Justice will roll over all challengers and carry the rose banner of all that is good and awesome to justly deserved victory!

\m/

You buy drinks. GnR raises funds.

I'm just a silly boy, but the GnR fundraiser coming up Monday at the Tube seems like genius to me.

Here's how it works:

1. You go to the Tube.
2. You buy drinks and such.
3. GnR raises funds.

The hitch here is that #3 only works at the Tube (18 NW 3rd Ave), and it only works on Monday 21 September 2009.

But you don't have to do anything to make (3) happen except complete (1) and (2). I kid you not. You just (1) go to the Tube (this step is very important) and (2) buy drinks. That's it.

Magical really.

I can't think of a better fundraising idea since my fraternity at FNU convinced the Greek Counsel to let us drink beer for charity.

I don't know if you understand, so let me lay it out for you: We were going to drink beer anyway, and then we got to do it for charity.

You are probably going to be buying drinks sometime in the near future anyway. (Or snacks. That works too.) If you do that at the Tube on Monday night, you'll be doing it for charity (GnR).

The only way this could be easier is if the GnRs brought the drinks and snacks to you on your porch in return for your donation.

(Hey ... could we do that next time? And really, now that I'm thinking about it, the easiest thing to do would be for you to just give money to GnR. And I'm sure they'd have no problem with that. Really. I don't think I even need to ask them.)

So once more, all you need to do is (1) go to the Tube (this really is essential) and (2) buy drinks.

You don't need to talk to the GnRs there (though you can). You don't need to stay very long (though you should). You don't even need to blush when they gush their thanks to you (though they will). None of that is required.

Now I understand some of you are saying, "But I have no plans to buy drinks. Ever."

That's fine. Because you can buy yummy things to eat at the Tube too.

And on top of that, the Genius Fundraising Plan™ doesn't require that you buy the drinks (or snacks) for yourself. No. You can buy drinks (or snacks) for anyone.

Seriously.

You don't want to buy drinks (or snacks) for yourself? No problem. You can buy drinks (or snacks) for the GnRs. They'll thank you even more!

And, coincidentally, it's Rocket Mean's birthday. She's 21! So you've got a perfect excuse to buy drinks (or snacks) for her. And since her 21st birthday only comes around once a year, you'll have to wait a whole year for such an opportunity again. That's a chance you really shouldn't miss: you get to buy Mean a drink (or snack, or several drinks, or snacks) for her birthday and for charity!

Oh, what do the GnRs need to raise money for? Rainbow socks mostly. That's what I've heard anyway.

So let's go over this one more time because it really is simple (and genius) and you'll be really embarassed if you screw this up:

1. You go to the Tube.
2. You buy drinks (or snacks).
3. GnR gets money.

Why would you not do this?

And what would you rollergirls like to drink (or eat)?

\m/

I Am an Idiot

(And there's a GnR car wash on Sunday the 30th from 11-3 at Andy & Bax.)

So I don't know how many times I've seen the GnR car wash flyer, been Twittered about it, or received facebook invitations to it, but I am an idiot.

All along, I've been thinking that it was on Saturday the 29th rather than Sunday the 30th.

(In my own defense, I've spent far too much time trying to figure out what exactly the clip art rollergirl is doing to that Challenger. And is that a piece of gum stuck to her hip?)

Here I'd been getting excited, looking forward to an afternoon of dirty cars, soapy rollergirls, and fistfuls of cash donations. But now that I know that the car wash will actually be on Sunday 30 August (I've always been right about the location—Andy & Bax on the corner of SE Pine and Grand—and the time—from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.), I have nothing to look forward to this weekend at all.

Because I won't be able to be there, you all better provide me with all the details and many most excellent stories of car wash shenanigans (true or otherwise).

(And there had better be a dirty, dirty ice cream truck to clean up. And pictures.)

"Dirty cars, and they're done washed clean!" \m/