Thursday, January 26

Season Opener Recap

Hey rockers! Now that we've all had a chance to let the thrill of the Guns N Rollers' amazing victory over the Heartless Heathers sink in, here is the summarized play-by-play of the action. Rock on! \m/ \m/

First Half

Jam 1: The first jam of the 2012 Season sees GNR's Squid Vicious take the line against the Heartless Heathers' The Blast Unicorn. Squid slips through the pack and earns lead jammer status with Blast not too far behind. Squid manages to clear the pack for 4pts and calls off the jam before Blast can reach the pack (GNR4-HH0).

Jam 2: Scald Eagle faces off against the Heathers; Teqkillya. Eagle earns lead jammer by has Teqkillya hot on her heels; she gets her 2pts from the Heathers' back wall and calls it (GNR6-HH0).

Jam 3: Supa Sixpack dons the jammer cap for GNR against Schemestress, but both take trips to the penalty box, and the jam goes the full 2min. Schemestress puts the Heathers on the board with 2pts and Sixpack picks up 4pts for GNR (GNR10-HH2).

Jam 4: In comes Braidy Punch, who racks up 15pts in a power jam and rockets GNR to a 25-2 lead. And GNR never looks back.

*At this point, I'm going to drop the GNR and HH from the running score. You guys are smart enough to keep track.*

Jam 5-9: A couple of GNR scoreless streaks give the Heathers an opportunity to mount a comeback, but the hard work of GNR's blockers hold the Heathers to scoreless/1-and-done jams, keeping GNR at a commanding lead (31-9).

Jam 10: Supa Sixpack puts 8pts on the board for GNR (39-9), followed by a 10pt jam from Scald Eagle (49-9).

Jam 12: Braidy Punch adds a grand slam to the tally, bringing the score to 54-13 as we take an official timeout.

Jam 14/15: Supa Sixpack gets sent to the penalty box in her jam against Toxic Haste, but comes out firing in the next jam, scoring 14pts for GNR (68-20).

Jam 18: New draft Scouts OnHer takes her first trip to the jam line. She's called out for an Illegal Procedure call, but comes back in and picks up 4pts while Teqkillya picks up 5pts to end the first half (80-25).

Second Half

Jam 19: GNR starts the second half with a scoreless jam by Untamed Shrew, who wisely calls off the jam with The Blast Unicorn hot on her heels (80-25).

Jam 20: GNR blockers clear the way up the middle for Juvie Hall, who earns lead jammer status and puts 2pts up for GNR (82-25).

Jam 22: After a small scoreless streak the Heathers' The Blast Unicorn manages to grab 4pts against Braidy Punch (84-29). A comeback by the Heathers does not seem likely.

Jam 23: Juvie Hall and her lanky stride make another appearance, scoring 4pts for GNR to Schemestress' 6pts (88-35).

Jam 24: Untamed Shrew's famous 25pt jam. GNR blockers hold Heathers jammer Toxic Haste scoreless (and Havana Goodtime lays her out with a massive sternum-buster) while Shrew laps her again and again for five grand slams, putting GNR into double-digits (113-35).

Jam 27-35: GNR continues to rack up points during a 9-jam scoreless streak for the Heathers. Somewhere in there (after Jam 28) the Heathers' French Tickler gets ejected for accumulating too many penalty minutes (155-44).

Jam 36: Teqkillya finally snaps the Heathers' dry spell with a 4pt jam. Squid Vicious makes a final push and manages to reach the pack for 1pt before Teqkillya calls off the jam (156-48).

Jam 39: Untamed Shrew wears the jammer cap against Baccha Nailya. She earns lead jammer status and picks up 4pts while she waits for the game clock to expire. It finally does, and Shrew calls off the jam with 1:13 left on the jam clock. Final score: 164-56 and a win for GNR. And the crowd goes wild.

Top GNR jammers Untamed Shrew: 47pts Scald Eagle: 42pts Braidy Punch: 30pts Supa Sixpack: 26pts

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