Thursday, March 17

More New Skaters

Itzo EZ returned to GnR when she was drafted last Thursday!

She's still reffing, and so is Breakneck Betties skater Scrappy Go Lucky. There's also a rumor that newly re-drafted Betty D.Konstructor may try the skater-ref multiclass thing too, which is even better, in my opinion, than the very popular Fighter-Thief multiclass. Both referee and skater cultures should benefit from those sorts of inter-relations, I think.

Besides EZ, GnR also drafted Untamed Shrew (whose name really is "Kate"!) and a skater who may, I believe, be called Artemis Foulmouth (Teen-aged criminal genius? Profanity spewing? I like her already. And sound like a pedophile. :/ )

Also in this draft round, Lt. Uhurta and Baccha Nailya went to the Heartless Heathers; D.Konstructor returned to the Betties; and High Rollers picked up Illegally Blonde and Skeeve Holt! (exclamation mark required—Skeeve Holt!). I can't be as excited as actual Betties fans to see DK back on skates, but I am very excited about that. And as I'm contractually obligated to find the Heathers slimy and gross, I am very disappointed to see fine skaters like Uhurta (add your own "Hailing frequencies open, sir" jokes) and Nailya forced to join the stinkiest, coldest, and bluest team in the league.

Raised Lighter
Skeeve Holt! in particular needs to be recognized for her kind actions to prevent me from further sullying the reputation of the Wheels of Justice and to save everyone else in attendance at Wild West Showdown from my annoying and generally obnoxious drunkenness.

In an unusual instance of foresight, I had written a noteBe Nicenote to myself earlier in the day, and there is some evidence that I'd managed to follow my sober self's advice—Cherry City's Squid Vicious says that I gave her a beer—for at least a few hours. Unfortunately, I hadn't thought that I might actually become completely illiterate before dark, and that, I think, may have been the true flaw in my plan. By the time the bout between Rose and Rat had started, my brain was so completely dissolved in alcohol that if you'd unscrewed the top of my head, poured ice and some kind of mixer into my skull, and stirred it all up, you would have had a batch of strong cocktails for you and a handful of friends. Me, I'll believe pretty much anything you want to tell me about that bout.

Smack Ya Sideways was ejected? Didn't see it.

Sat next to Effy Stone 'Em? Don't remember seeing her at all that weekend.

While I can't recall any specifics (surprise!), I do have a nagging suspicion that I was an obnoxious prick to pretty much everyone around me, and so it was that Dr. Snark N. Stein transformed into the not-quite evil (but definitely annoying) Dr. Drunk N. Stein.

And here the noble and kind Skeeve Holt! (Skeeve Holt!) and fellow (at the time) Fresh Meat skater Indigo Hurls intervened. They took my keys, took my car, took me back to my hotel, and sent me to bed before I could further embarrass myself or the Rose City Rollers. I've heard that the after-party was excellent!

In better news, congratulations to skaters Joyride (Betties), Mercy (Heathers—boo!), and Scald Eagle (GnR—huzzah!), who have been added to the Wheels of Justice roster as well as the AoA one. (Spots were freed up when Firecrotch moved from skating to coaching for the travel team and when Honey Hellfire stepped down from the travel team roster.)

One more thing: I may owe Intensive Scare a drink. I was going to share my bourbon with her at WWS on Saturday night, but she was upstairs, and stairs were an insurmountable obstacle for me. (Dr. Drunk N. Stein, it turns out, is very easily defeated.)

Also, a second more thing: If I got drunk and misplaced the cow bell, to whoever found it and kept it safe, I say "Thank you!" If on the other hand, the cow bell was confiscated, to whoever took it from me and has since hidden it, I tell you that I'm sure you made the right decision, and I support it.

\m/ \m/



  1. Snark, Snark, Snark. Your self-depracation works really, really well.

  2. If only I were exaggerating. :/

    During the Rat/Rose bout, I complained to Frisky (so she says) that everything was moving much too fast for me to follow....

    Really, everyone at WWS should be thanking Skeeve Holt! and Indigo Hurls for putting *me* out of *their* misery.

  3. It was a simple credo:"Be Nice(ish)". The good Dr was sooo amusing that even Security just laughed as they busted him for drinking in the stands. He finished pounding the pounder before he handed it over...they just kept laughing.

  4. Congrats also need to go out to (the soon to be renamed) Giv'r No Quarter for being drafted on to Axels of Annihilation!