"Where were all the GnRs who should have been skating at the Coliseum?"
"Why did every GnR jam at the Coliseum look so much like thisthis?"
"Has GnR lost their mojo?"
These may be the kinds of questions you've been asking yourself no matter if the scramble at the Memorial Coliseum was your first Rose City Rollers experience or if you've been dreaming in animal prints for years and know what it is to "pull a poodle." And I'm gonna try to answer them.
Here, I'll just try to help you figure out where the GnRs went and who's replaced them for this season. It'll take another post at least to try to figure out the other answers.
The short answer: nearly every GnR skater retired.
Let's do the math....
Now, follow along.
During the off-season, eight of these skaters retire:
MKate's injured and moves back to Olympia. Evilia D. Stroiu moves to Hawaii, and Boxcar Bethy also moves to Ontario.
Hard Knox, Cher The Pain, Fist O'Fury, Knocker Bown, and Axl Blows also hang up their skates. Except for Knocker, these are all veterans who have skated at least two seasons with GnR, and Axl Blows skated five seasons with RCR. Axl is a founding GnR skater who skated for RCR's travel team from before they were called the Wheels Of Justice until midway through last season; she was also the last skater with derby name that plays on the Guns N Roses theme.
Those eight retirements leave a team that looks like thisthis.
During this same period, GnR drafts four new skaters—Dirty Ann Rotten, Harajuke A Girl, Havana Good Time, and Awnry O'Hulligan—and their charter stands at sixteen skaters (20 - 8 + 4 = 16).
Then come the tryouts for travel team. Punchkin, Bella Massacre, and Havana Good Time are selected for Axles of Annihilation. Smack, Napalm, Cadillac, Mangles, and Blood all skated for Wheels Of Justice last season, and all of them are chosen for WoJ again this season. All five of them also retire from GnR to skate solely for WoJ this season.
Those additional retirements leave only seven skaters from Season 5 who are chartered for Season 6. Thirteen skaters retired from GnRretired from GnR before the start of this season. With the five skaters retired to Wheels and including the four new skaters drafted, GnR has a charter of eleven skaterseleven skaters.
[Note]Thanks to Roller Eclipse for pointing out that bout rosters are only fourteen skaters not fifteen as I'd mistakenly typed. /snark[Note]
Then it turns out that Mora Manipulator is moving out of state, which means she has now retired from GnR (yes, the scramble was both her debut and her farewell for RCR and GnR). Because Mora's departure leaves GnR with only thirteen skaters, the team asks for a "special draft" so they don't have to wait until the next regular draft to add a few more skaters to their charter. The league approved a special draft, which took place last Thursday and at which GnR picked up former GnR Guts & BoltsGuts & Bolts, Scald EagleScald Eagle (who had been drafted by the Break Neck Betties but who exercised the 30-day return-to-Fresh-Meat option), and Supa SixpackSupa Sixpack.
So. If you've kept track at home, the sixteen current GnRs are:
- 11 Punchkin (co-captain)
- 69 Sugar & Vice (co-captain)
- 12oz Micro Bruiser
- 19 Harriet The Sly
- 28 Dirty Ann Rotten
- 37 Awrny O'Hulligan
- 38 Guts & Bolts
- 50 Scald Eagle
- 81 Havana Good Time
- 214 Bella Massacre
- 419b Juvie Hall
- 480 Harajuke A Girl
- 509 Rolla Reina
- 831 Slaughtra
- 1221 Roller Eclipse
- Supa Sixpack
And those are the GnRs who will skate against the Break Neck Betties in the first regular bout of the season at the Oaks Park Hangar on Saturday night.
(Thanks to Roller Eclipse who pointed out that RCR has increased bout rosters for league teams from WFTDA's fourteen skaters to sixteen skaters, so Punchkin and Sugar don't have to decide who to keep off the roster. On the other hand, Harriet is still out injured, and Supa Sixpack has a cracked rib—already?—so only fourteen GnRs will skate on Saturday. Thanks again, Eclipse!)
See you there!
[Post edited on 1/26/2011 to correct roster size issues. /snark]