Come Party With GNR!!!

This just in, rockers! You may have heard stories of legendary Guns N Rollers parties, but now you can be a part of the mischief! This Friday GNR is throwing their annual fundraising blowout and you do NOT want to miss it! Reserve your seat on the exclusive party bus and GO ON TOUR WITH GNR!!! Yes, this is for real. Or if party buses aren't really your bag, meet GNR at Blitz-Ladd at 9pm for special drinks, games, and live karaoke. Either way, it's gonna be mental. Come join your favorite ladies in black (and yours truly, who will be trying valiantly to record a video blog while drinking) for the party of the year!!! See below for details.

Rock on!!! \m/ \m/

Get exclusive access to GNR’s giant party tour bus, only 10 people get to go!

On Friday night, April 20th, at 6:30pm.

- Enjoy free beer while you meet and party with GNR skaters!

- Stop in Sellwood and be the first to try free samples of Nectar’s brand new GNR flavor frozen yogurt!

- Challenge a GNR skater to a duel downtown at Ground Kontrol classic arcade, your game is on us!

- Roll up to the public party at Blitz-Ladd with GNR in style!

All this for a $40 contribution to Guns and Rollers. Keep GNR flush in Aqua Net and animal print (ok, really in uniforms and equipment) for one more year.

GNR’s exclusive pre-party tour bus leaves Blitz-Ladd at 6:30pm on Friday, April 20th. The public party gets rolling at 9:00pm and we'll rock into the early morning. The Karaoke Kings, a live karaoke band, will start playing at 9pm, so bring your rock anthem voices. Blitz-Ladd has free shuffleboard, ping pong, and darts. GNR will host a free photo booth, raffles (including a snowboard!) and special GNR drinks.

Only 10 people will get to join our pre-party tour bus of awesome, that’s right, we’re only selling 10 tickets!! So get yours now, we can’t wait to go on tour with you!

Guns N Rollers vs Break Neck Betties

Well rockers. Allow me to throw a pair of less-than-enthusiastic horns your way (\m/ \m/). You are no doubt still hurting from the Guns N Rollers' disappointing loss to the Break Neck Betties last week. I will admit- I procrastinated the crap out of writing this post. I really didn't want to write it. After such an exciting lead-in and an exhilarating start to the bout, I was left stunned and saddened by the defeat. It was a painful few hours for loyal GNR fans.

First, a brief recap. The bout began with a fierce showing of defense by both teams. Solid walls, great blocking, just some really killer derby. My eyes were as big as vinyl records as I stared in awe of GNR. They looked so damn good. The Betties drew first blood when SoulFearic ACID finally broke through the pack and put 4pts on the board. GNR's awesome defense held strong for the next 5 jams, which gave Scald Eagle a chance to rocket GNR ahead with a 20pt jam. Supa Sixpack put up 4pts to Acid's 3pts, and Squid Vicious added to GNR's lead with a 9pt jam. Fans were going nuts. The whole crowd was going nuts. We were witnessing such legendary derby. And then the penalties started. GNR proceeded to play all but 5 jams of the rest of the bout without a full contingent of blockers. The Betties started racking up points, and GNR was powerless to staunch the flow. Dekonstructor jammed back-to-back for a total of 24pts to tie the score in the 7th/8th jams, and the Betties never looked back. The first half ended with GNR down 41-90. Long scoreless streaks for GNR, coupled with continuing penalty trouble and consistent jamming by Acid, DK, and Joyride, sounded the death knell for any hopes of a GNR comeback. A 25pt jam by Acid put the point spread into triple digits, and the crowd started calling for the Betties to quit being douchebags and start playing their rookies (the crowd's words, not mine!). But the Betties persisted in racking up as many points as possible, jamming Acid, DK, and Joyride over and over again. Eagle managed a couple of miracle jams while FrankNHurter, Havana Goodtime, and Untamed Shrew showed their blocking chops by holding the Betties jammers scoreless. Finally answering the crowd's yells of "Play your rookies! Blow-outs are boring!" the Betties jammed Northern Lights Out and Winnie the Pow for the last few jams, during which Eagle put up 30pts. The final whistle blew and the torture was over- the Betties beat GNR 172-102.

So what happened? Penalty trouble killed GNR, like it always does. It's as simple as that. And yet it's decidedly more complex when you break it down further. It's not just a matter of less GNR blockers equals a defensive/offensive disadvantage. That's obvious. The other result of constant penalty trouble is the inevitable panic that ensues. GNR gets flustered and confused, which ultimately leads to their downfall, especially against an unflappable team like the Betties. Suddenly, line-ups get sent out without adjusting to the prior jam, like someone isn't paying attention to what just happened on the track. Last-minute changes are called when the blockers are already on the track, which throws the whole jam into chaos. This sort of panicked line-up change has even led to a top skater being pulled, leaving a less-effective blocker on the track. I've seen this happen in bouts and at scrimmage. It's a frustrating pattern.

So there's that. But there's something else that I am still mystified about. When playing a team like the Betties, who skate with the utmost precision and agility, why were there GNR skaters on the track who couldn't get to where they needed to go in an equally-timely fashion? Don't play the skaters who get hit out and take an eternity to get back to the pack! Don't play the skaters who don't/can't do their job because they are constantly getting picked off and trapped by the opposing team! Don't leave skaters on the bench who do possess the skills to get to the front of the pack without help! If a skater is having an off night (or simply lacks the skills to begin with), stop playing them! In case you couldn't tell from my copious use of italics, I'm a little worked up about this. GNR needs to take a hard, objective look at how their line-ups are being determined.

Ok, the rants are over. Here are some good things that happened. One of GNR's strategies was to neutralize Acid (heh, 'neutralize avid') by sending Eagle out to jam against her every single time. I chuckle to myself when I imagine Acid on the jam line with Eagle. 'You again? Really?' And although it may not have been a jam-for-jam wash in terms of points, Eagle did succeed in matching Acid's 66pts with 67pts of her own. Unfortunately, there were no GNR jammers able to equalize Dekonstructor or Joyride, who put up 67pts and 37pts respectively. But Eagle did a hell of a job jamming, as she always does. I hope she never ever stops jamming for GNR. Especially as long as FrankNHurter and Havana Goodtime are around to block, so Eagle can just jam all day long.

And let's not forgot that brief shining moment at the start of the bout when GNR was in fierce control of the pack. If GNR had skated with that same level-headedness and tenacity the whole time, they very well could have beat the Betties. And in case you haven't heard, GNR will play the Betties again in the semi-finals on May 5th. I'm hoping it will be a very different game.

In other news...

Squid Vicious skated her last bout with GNR on March 31st. We'll miss you, Squiddles!

Mel Mangles is back on GNR! Holy crap! Just in time for semis...

Party with GNR! Your favorite ladies in black are hosting a fundraising blow-out on April 20th. Reserve your spot on the exclusive party bus, or come to Blitz Ladd later for drinks, games, and Karaoke From Hell. If you've never seen Untamed Shrew's rendition of Sin Wagon, you need to be there. What am I saying?! You need to be there anyway! Yours truly will be on board the tour bus, video-blogging. Yep, you heard me... Click below for tickets and info.

http://www.rosecityrollers.com/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=20_26&products_id=81

Rock on! \m/ \m/

The Bout That Could Have Been

A somber hello to you, rockers. It's taken a full week to get over the heartbreak of the Guns N Rollers' 84-108 loss to the High Rollers. I may not be fully over it still, in fact. We all wanted this win so badly, and it was absolutely in reach. I watch the bout footage over and over, I read over my notes again and again, and it makes my rebel toes curl that GNR could have taken this one home. Our ladies in black fought hard and they made their loyal fans proud, but the night could have been so much more bitchin'. Let's break it down...

Penalties

What did I tell you, GNR?! Stay out of the box! 70% of the bout was played down at least one GNR blocker (yes, I did the math). Valuable defensive skills were missing from the track while Frank N Hurter and Havana Goodtime sat in the penalty box. GNR jammers going to the box at key points in the game resulted in the only 9- and 10-pt jams the High Rollers ever got. The night wore on, the skaters became desperate, the play became frenetic, the penalties piled on. Interestingly enough, the High Rollers spent a fair amount of time in the penalty box themselves. In fact, Minstrel Psycho, Hurrican Skatrina, and Layla Smackdown were all on the brink of ejection due to accumulation of penalty minutes. When it comes to total minutes spent in the box, it was the High Rollers that had the most (42min to GNR's 32min). On paper the High Rollers had more trouble with penalties across the board. So why did GNR's penalties hurt so much more? Because even when HR was down a blocker or two they kept together, tightened up, picked up the slack from the missing player, and skated on. When GNR lost a blocker their confidence seemed to leave the track as well. Pack awareness lessened and strategy went right out the window. Any ideas of scoring points were abandoned as it became a game of survival. With a full contingent of blockers GNR did well to contain the HR jammer and get some points for themselves. But as soon as that whistle blew and someone got sent off the track, things sort of fell apart.

An "off" night

You know that feeling when you accidentally put your shirt on backwards? And then you accidentally pour salt into your coffee instead of sugar? And then that refrigerator door that you've opened a million times suddenly eludes you? Things are just slightly off-kilter- you're having an "off" day. Watching GNR play last Saturday I was struck with that feeling multiple times. Dependable blockers who usually give consistent, reliable performances were missing hits and getting knocked off their line. Skaters who usually know exactly where they need to be seemed a little lost at times. Jammers who normally go balls-to-the-wall through the pack were pulling up short behind that wall of green. No one really had an awful night, it just felt like lots of pieces were a tad out of place. This makes it all the more frustrating to think about what could have happened if GNR had been on their game. Even despite the penalties, GNR could have pulled this one off had things just been going their way.

The good stuff

Okay, I'm done being a bummer. The fact is, GNR gave the #1-ranked High Rollers a run for their money. They managed to shut down the High Rollers' attempts to form back walls (which is kind of their thing) multiple times. GNR took the lead early, and they even got it back briefly towards the end of the first half. When they were down they chipped away at that point spread bit by bit and they never gave up. I sat at the edge of my seat the whole game, knowing that a well-timed 20-pt power jam could give GNR the edge to become the league's #1 team. Sadly, that break never came. But GNR kept the High Rollers on their toes all night long. The most HR was able to score in a single jam was 10 points. And with HR jammers like Sully Skullkicker, that's really saying something. I am so so proud of GNR for giving their loyal fans an exciting, close game. No more hour-long feeling of dread and nausea. No more 'oh geez, GNR is gonna get their asses handed to them'. I think I can safely say that those days are behind us. I put on my pink fishnets and my GNR shirt that night knowing that my favorite team had a real chance to win. And that is an awesome feeling.

You know what else is an awesome feeling? Working hard to improve an aspect of your skating and seeing that perseverance pay off. I'm talking about you, Supa Sixpack! No longer will I be screaming (in my head) "keep your arms down! Don't back-block! Don't back-block!" After being plagued by minors you made the effort to change your ways, and it showed by way of hardly any penalties the whole bout. Good on ya! And if I may, I'd like to single out a few more skaters: Roller Eclipse and Va Va BOOM. These ladies are excellent blockers and yet were alarmingly under-utilized in Saturday's bout. Eclipse has shown great pack awareness and is highly effective at positional blocking. And well, Va hits like a friggin' Mack truck. Both of these skaters are so quiet on the track that they often escape notice, but I definitely noticed both of them sitting on the bench way more that they should have. More jams for Eclipse and Va next time, please. Seriously. And speaking of awesome blocking: Untamed Shrew. I love her as a jammer, but boy is she an amazing blocker too! Talk about a double-threat! Shrew, you continue to amaze and inspire me.

When it comes down to it, the Guns N Rollers as a team continues to amaze me. It's a little early to be talking about championships, but I have a feeling we just saw a preview of our Season 7 Champs match-up. By June GNR will have had plenty of time to capitalize on all the hard work they've put in and to work out some of the lingering kinks. Although their strategies against the High Rollers only worked sporadically, it was so awesome to see them with a game plan. I cannot wait to see how the rest of the season shapes up. It's gonna be mental.

In case I don't have time to post a play-by-play before I leave for my exotic tropical adventure on Saturday (it's okay, be jealous), here are some numbers for you:

27: points scored by Supa Sixpack, GNR's high scorer

18: the number of times GNR earned lead jammer (over HR's 17!)

2.77: the average points per jam allowed by GNR blockers (2.77 is nothing, you guys). Well done!

The Guns N Rollers play their next bout on March 31st against the Break Neck Betties. Rock on! \m/ \m/